Unexpected Grace…

Last night I was tossing and turning trying to go to sleep. My body does not agree with the sub zero temps and I have a hard time getting comfortable lately. It could be that my husband is sawing logs and has even started blowing raspberries in his symphony of snoring, or that my body just assumes I don’t need sleep because in the last ten months, well, there hasn’t been a whole lot of sleeping going on. Or, maybe because my mind is filled with fear, doubt, stress, and maybe my daily vice that comes in a styrofoam cup served over ice, sweet, yet fizzy doesn’t suit me well too late in the evening in my old(er) age.

So as I’m laying there fighting sleep, I start to drift off, and our sweetcheeks lets out a scream. For those of you who know Maddox, she just isn’t a baby that whimpers. If she is awake, she is WIDE awake, and it seemed to be a scream that might not allow me to get any sleep. Again. So I prayed to the Lord that He would grant me the patience to serve my baby girl in whatever way she needed, the wisdom to know what caused her to awaken, and the strength to get up. Again.

I took a great big sigh of “ok, you can do this.” And, then, it happened. No patience to serve, no wisdom to know, and no strength to do it again. But, at that moment it was grace that He granted sweet, unexpected grace, and peace, and quiet.  As I lay there in the still I wondered, just how often do I pray as if I know what I need? How often are my requests not apart of His plan? And, more importantly, when do I not receive that sweet grace that He gives. Knowing that I serve a God who loves me despite my lack of showers, my frazzled momma moments, being too quick to anger, never too slow to speak, and most of the time just big ball of mess, knowing that He loves me and decides to show me grace, even when I think I know what I need. Well, I’m in love. With sweet, unexpected grace.